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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Got back from the doc's not too long ago. I have gained approximately 4 more millimeters on the cervix! I now have a solidly normal measurement! This doesn't mean I have a normal cervix. If I get up and start moving around some it will go back down. Dr. Keanu said, "Looks like bed rest and prayer are working!" Amen!

He says he'll probably do the steroid injections at 26 weeks. Sounds reasonable. My hospital uses the stupid kind of steroids that are inconvenient. For two days I have to travel to the big city every 12 hours to get injections. It's dexamethasone. Betamethasone only requires two shots, one every 24 hours. That would be better, as we have to travel quite a way to get to the office. The car makes me queasy. I asked if I could just shoot myself up at home. He said no because they are "IM." What the heck does that mean? I had to remind him I wasn't a doctor. I think sometimes he forgets. D'har.

IM means intramuscular as opposed to subcutaneous. I've only been giving myself subcues in this pregnancy. IMs have to go deeper. I was surprised that I wasn't allowed to impale myself at home. With all the other stuff they expected us to do during home health care I figured they'd just ask me to check in after I delivered my own baby. It seems we can manage tubes just outside our hearts but we can't stab ourselves in the butt. Alrighty.

I was surprised to learn that I gained 5 pounds. I'll have to send Pepperidge Farm a thank you note.

We got to see Tummy Lumpkin pretty well today. Her spine and ribs are so intricate and fascinating. A person within a person; I'm a walking miracle.

She's still a girl. She stuck her little butt right up to the transducer. I guess she wanted us to know what she thought about all that. Her little cookie is so obviously a little cookie. Can cookies be cute? Hers is! We took a picture.

I spit on the doctor. It was an accident. I was trying to say the word "swollen" with a German accent, and the spit in the middle of my teeth went flying across the room like a fluffy white UFO. He saw it. We all saw it. I should have said, "Woah, did someone turn on a sprinkler in here?" or "Hey I should just say it, not spray it!" but instead I just turned red and kept on talking. It can be embarrassing or funny. Today I chose embarrassing.

When I spat on him I was trying to tell him how swollen my face looked. I.e., "My faze is all svollen!" In an attempt at reassuring me he said, "I think it looks fine. It was much fatter last time I saw you." Uhhh…

We talked about cramping and gas and poop, and my husband pinched his nose and pointed at me. Dr. Keanu ignored him while I giggled uncontrollably.

Dr. visits are always a hoot when you get good news.

Keep praying for Elise.
Doctor's orders.

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