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Friday, February 27, 2004

I didn't puke day before yesterday but couldn't really eat. Yesterday I puked my head off and the runs just got runnier. Today I haven't puked yet but the runnier runs are worse than ever with a new pastel makeover just in time for spring.

I was only able to take in three cups of fluid yesterday, but so far I have had nearly four and a half today. If I can't get down all six I am going to triage for IVs. Every time I take a sip my stomach starts grumbling, and I have to run to the toilet. Lovely. I hope Elise is oblivious to all this. I'm sure she's hungry as I have absolutely no nutritional stores after all those months of severe HG. She's still beating me senseless, so I suppose all is well. This morning she nearly kicked me out of bed, but after waking up fully I realized she had the hiccups and must have had them for quite some time, because she was already thoroughly, violently annoyed. I can always tell, because she starts playing my guts like a harp.

Yesterday I went in for the gestational diabetes test. I drank the orange soda and kept it down! Went to see Dr. Keanu after that. He has a pockmark right in the middle of his forehead just like I do. We are twins separated at birth.

Because of the incompetent cervix my husband will usually enter the waiting room before me and ask one of the normal patients if they mind giving up their seat on the couch so that his sick wife with the incompetent cervix may come in to lie down and wait so as not to endanger the baby. No one has ever declined to offer their compassion or their place on the couch. Today was the same. However, Dr. Keanu asked us if we would start coming on Fridays at a certain time when there were hardly any patients so that I could have clear access to the couch and more time for my appointments. He also mentioned that the reason he asked was because the nice, very healthy lady, who so graciously donated her seat, complained her head off.

It's disappointing to learn that there are people in the world who care more about their big fat comfortable arse than they care about the safety of your child or comforting you when you are in misery and they are not. The woman saw me when I came in and got on the couch; I looked like crap from all this vomiting, diarrhea and bed rest. She looked rosy cheeked and happy and when I asked, my doctor's countenance confirmed that she was indeed a healthy patient. Then I got kind of annoyed at him for even mentioning it. Like I haven't been through enough! I thought that perhaps it might have been more reasonable (and compassionate) of him to simply say, "Hey, can you come on Fridays from now on? Friday is a good day for me, and you'll have more time and access to the couch." Instead I was told I was a pain in someone's rear and was asked to alter my life to make part of a healthy person's pregnancy more pleasant!

I said, "Look, we asked if she would donate her seat, she willingly did so, and now she is mad at us? If she didn't want to give up her seat for a sick person then she should have just said 'Heck no, you can't have my seat!'" I then told Dr. Keanu that he had done his business of asking but the answer was no; I would not change my schedule to accommodate other people who get mad about their own, feigned compassion. My husband abruptly interrupted my “furthermore” saying we would come on Fridays. Keanu looked relieved, and I gave up arguing at that point. It was not a hill I wanted to die on.

On the way out, two nurses and a receptionist were very rude to us. We ignored the nurses, but by the time we got to the receptionist my husband had had it. She wanted to know how much our co-pay was because she doesn't ever seem to know what she is supposed to charge patients. My husband told her we didn't have a co-pay at which point she started to argue with him that surely we had a co-pay, which we don't and we know we don't from talking with our insurance, something she obviously has not bothered to do. She wanted us to pay the co-pay and then work any refund out with our insurance. She has been doing this for a while and we have nearly a hundred dollars coming to us that, months later, we still don't have, so my husband said that he was not going to continue to pay and that she needed to do her job because he was sick of doing it for her. He told her that he was totally stressed out with a sick wife and a child to take care of and that he was not going to take care of her job too! On his behalf, she had been very nasty to him and has been this way since day one. He just had a Popeye moment where he'd had “all I can stands and can’t stands no more!” It was kind of a rough day, and the second we got home I started puking my guts up.

I didn't really gain any measurement to speak of but I didn't lose any measurement, and I thought surely I did after all the up and down of vomiting and diarrhea. They're going to stop checking measurements at 32 weeks. Dr. Keanu measured my belly with a tape for the first time, and he said it was right on target.

I felt so bad yesterday I couldn't even get on the computer. You know I feel bad when I don't sign on for a good measure of public whining!

Last week I was boohooing about wanting to get out of bed. You’ll be glad to know that I have been put back in my place and will be very happy just to be able to eat again. This pregnancy is a constant humbling. I can only imagine, daydream about the day, so far from now, when I will "belong to myself" again and be able to eat without any concern that I might not be able to hold it down. I do remember a day a long time ago when that was possible, when I ate without even thinking. Those were good days physically speaking!

That's about all I have to tell except for the neat thing that happened the other day. Elise was being rambunctious, and I heard her little bone pop through my tummy. You know, like when you get up and your leg pops? That's what she did. She was moving around, and I heard this little muffled pop. Very cute.

In a few days we will go and get our 4D sonogram. Perhaps I should reschedule it for Friday so as not to bother any healthy people with my suffering. Hello, can you say Leo DiCaprio’s character in "The Beach"?! UGH!)


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