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Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Poopy-doopy is very active lately. Squirmin' roun', squirmin' roun'. It's so great to feel her, but she makes me seasick! Her brother is sick, sick, sick. Diarrhea and not much eating. My husband's hands are cracked and bleeding from washing his hands so often. He's being so careful trying not to spread this stuff to me. Oh honeychile, that's all I need.

I'm going to write a song for you now because I am bored.

Ode to Heartburn and Gas
Heartburn and gas,
heartburn and gas.
Lawsy, lawsy!
Heartburn and gas!

Give me some meds:
cherry flavored pills,
a bottle of Tums
to cure all my ills.
Oh lawsy!
Lawsy, lawsy!
Heartburn and gas!

I shunna et that Reuben on rye:
corned beef and sour kraut—
I’m a'gonna die!
I’m not gonna make it!
I’m not gonna last
because of this heartburn,
this heartburn and gas!

Oh lawsy!
Lawsy, lawsy!
Heartburn and gas,
heartburn and gas!

Feel me, feel my pain;
take me a bath
and wash it down the drain!
Give me more fiber
so I don't have to strain!
Make it so easy
for me to pass
& get through this heartburn,
this heartburn and gas!

Lawsy!
Lawsy, oh lawsy!
Heartburn,
heartburn and gas!

Someone set that to music. Feel free to add a nice flatulent denouement, package it up, and send it to me. I'll give you a cookie, but you won't want to eat it, because I'll touch it for sure, without washing my hands.


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