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Friday, March 05, 2004

Bubba’s Morning Routine

I thought I should clarify my husband's morning routine so you can feel even more sorry for him:
*get up
*bathe/brush teeth/groom
*wake smelly, bed-ridden cow-like wife
*take breakfast order and prepare breakfast before nausea lecture starts
*prepare wife's food/drink cooler for the day (remember mustard or receive harassing emails at work)
*dump wife's stinky pee bucket, clean, and refill with ice
*wake son
*administer vitamins to wife and child
*groom and dress crying child who is screaming that he hates school and wants to stay home
*prepare child's snack for school
*open wife's windows (so she can call later in the day complaining about outside smells)
*remember to supply wife with phone
*turn off all artificial lights before leaving for work as they "bother" ever-nauseous, ever-complaining wife
*kiss wife
*force child to kiss wife
*drive child to school
*retreat to hard day at work for much needed rest before returning home to begin grueling, evening schedule

Don’t feel sorry for him: he forgot the mustard!

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