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Thursday, March 18, 2004

Stocking work is all I did yesterday therefore, yesterday was a relatively good day. Later in the evening I started to feel siiiiick, sick, sick. Hubby brought home some coconut-lemon grass-chicken soup to die for. It was probably the most delicious thing I have "et" since this whole HG mess began. He also bought me some pad Thai. It was OK, but nothing compared to the soup. Still, later in the evening I had to get out Old Trusty, my blue emesis basin, because I thought for sure I was going to hurl. It freaked me out a little because I thought, "Oh man, don't puke the soup up and ruin it forever too." Once you puke something up you never really feel quite the same about it, no matter how delicious it was prior to puking.

My Little-little has started taking more self-directed interest in his gestating sister. This morning he came in to snuggle and he peeled the covers back saying, "I want to say something to Elise." I was pleasantly surprised as he said, "Hellooooo, Elise. Helloooo in there! I love you! When are you going to come out?"

We talked about her a little and he said, "I want two." I asked him what he meant and he said he wanted two babies. Forgetting he was five for a moment, I said, "Well gee, OK, I'll just get sick again and go live at the hospital with tubes in me for another year."

"Goodie!" said he, "Then we'll have two babies!"

I clarified, "The next baby we're getting is from Korea, not from me. There will be no more babies from me, I say!" And then I tickled his neck while he dissolved into laughter that ended the subject.

Ohhh, I got me some snuggle time this A.M., people. I kissed his little elbows and his face and neck and ears. He was laughing and accidentally bit my nose. "Hey, if you're hungry you need to ask Daddy to make you some toast, but you can’t eat my nose for breakfast!" Something about that really cracked him up, and he laughed and laughed like I was the funniest person in the world. To him, I was. Your children make you a hero every day.

Last night I dreamed I was driving a car past a stadium in Rome. In the stadium there was a multi-level scaffold with tons of people standing in a white-robed choir singing Agnus Dei. We drove away with fading strains riding the currents of wind flying in through open windows. I wanted to stay, but my biological father was driving. He took us to a church where they spoke and spoke saying nothing at all. Then I woke up.

30 days left to my hell. I am wondering if something else will develop and I will have to stay on bed rest. Ugh.

You do realize that this diary is coming to an end. In few "short" weeks it will be over. There will be that much less of me to read, and won't we all be relieved!


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