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Sunday, April 18, 2004

Getting ready for church because—


I'm a little frightened. I feel somehow that I'm losing control. I've been in bed for 30 weeks. It's all I know.

Been contracting a bit this morning.

I should be ecstatic.
But I don't know how to feel.

Most of this ordeal has taken a certain level of psychic numbing. Now I'm supposed to feel something?

Maybe my emotional functioning will be like my digestive system after TPN: sluggish for a couple of weeks before kicking back in.

I have to go now.

It's time to pick up my mat and walk.

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