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Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Went to Dr. Keanu last Friday (going once a week now), and he said he was not opposed to inducing before the 16th of May, when he is scheduled to go out of town for a few days. Isn't this typical. I stay in bed for half my life praying fervently that I can hold in her little body just one more day, and then she ends up getting induced!

I haven't agreed to anything.

I feel a little creepy about induction. For me, it smacks of abortion. It is the same now as it was in my first pregnancy: I love her, but I feel I can't take it anymore and want her out of my body now. I don't like that feeling. I have it, but I don't like it and I don't have to act on it.

If I were overdue, that would be one thing; an induction would be for her. As it is, the idea is purely for me in order to regain physical comfort and to ensure that Dr. Keanu will surely be the one to attend. My reasons don't justify Cytotec patches and Pitocin. But then the day wears on and by night I am sometimes tearing with pain. Perhaps what I need at this point isn't induction but prayer.

I am having trouble sleeping. Normal for pregnant fatties at this stage of the game. I keep waking up at 4 A.M. unable to get back to sleep. Two days ago I asked my husband to pray for me each night, and each night that he has I have slept very well in spite of getting up umpteen times a night to pee. So pray, if you will, that:

*Things will be more physically comfortable or that I will have a greater will to endure it.
*I will sleep better.
*Elise will come on her own—but SOON!
*We four will continue to be healthy and safe.

I really do appreciate your prayers.

Nothing really super interesting is happening lately. It just feels like a waiting game at this point. I am still up too much, overdoing and paying the price. I need to work on that, I know.

Dr. Keanu gives me updates from time to time, telling me of the new cases of HG patients in the hospital. "She's not as bad as you," he tends to follow it with. "You're as bad as I've seen it." I win. I want my golden emesis basin.

My baby shower was great! Lots of loot and lots of fun. My teeth: the dental work that must be done after this pregnancy—I don't even want to think about it. I took a bite of the cake at the shower and nearly died. The pain was searing.

I had to have dental work after my son was born due to all the stomach acid washes from the constant vomiting and inability to brush. My teeth are worse this time around, but that only makes sense, because the pregnancy was so much worse. But teeth? What are teeth compared to nurturing a child and surviving, persisting, when I could have taken the "easy" way out. Teeth are trivial.

OK, lessee: Dr. Keanu, shower, teeth. I think I've hit all the recent highlights, which explains why I haven't been writing much lately!

Oh, my neighbor, who is in her mid ‘70s, came over last night with a large butter tin full of neck bones and rice! She also added a nice portion of tomato gravy on the side and topped it all off with some pear salad—sand pears from her trees of course! It was seriously yummy. This is a typical southern dish. For those of you who don't know what neck bones are, it's beef. You cook the neck bones all day until the meat is just falling-off tender. No one makes it like my neighbor Mama Birdie. I had already made lasagna, but once those neck bones came through the door we just put the uncut lasagna in the fridge for the next day. I mean, we're talking neck bones and rice with tomato gravy here! Boy howdy, do I ever love my neighbor!

I would like to say a special thank you to my favorite New York attorney for the Aristocrat wool soakers for Elise's little poopie-butt. These things are quite expensive and the thoughtful gift is entirely helpful. Thanks!

Elise is running out of leg room, but she is doing her best to say good morning to you all. She has worried me with a couple of slow days, but she is a child; she will worry her mother for the rest of life.

That's the way it goes!

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